Friday, April 8, 2011

Nobody Wants an Ambitious Girl

 i like this poem, song, spoken word, track, I don’t know what to call it, it’s original.  I’m real happy for Wale, and imma let him finish, but…I can’t cosign on this one.  I want to, but if I did, women would have full custody…I mean, right, to call every man in America, a hypocrite.  Men want a woman with ambition, that’s true, but we only want her ambition to go as far as it can without infringing on our ambition.
Scenario: A rapper has just been signed to a multi-album deal with a fat advance.  He’s dating a lawyer who is representing a group of clients who are set to win $350 million in compensatory and punitive damages in a class action lawsuit.  “Can you put your rap career on hold for a moment so that we can win this trial?  I’m sure that after this, I’ll be set for life and can even give you financial support to chase your dreams.”
She even said, “We.”  But you know how this scenario ends…
Based on the logic of “Ambitious Girl” I’m trying to find out why so many successful ambitious Black sisters are single.  And I’m drawing a blank.  If ambition was celebrated then ambitious women wouldn’t be single, they wouldn’t have to lower their standards to find dates, they wouldn’t have to put up with tons of crap and drama to find a date, and there wouldn’t be a need for this song.
It’s no secret that in our community, Black men have been playing second fiddle to Black women for a long time.  (Blame unemployment, heroin, crack, infatuation with blowing money fast that leads to bad credit and absurd amounts of debt, I’m just saying…)  Yet, we still have never gotten used to it or embraced it.  Currently, we’re still deliberating on whether a man is okay with dating a woman who makes more money than him.  Furthermore, men don’t want a woman who they think doesn’t have time for them.  They don’t want to date a woman who asks her significant other to work around her schedule.  Ask female doctors, they’re single, because men can’t deal with their schedules.  Not only can they not deal with it, but they can’t even comprehend the nature of it.
So that’s why I say, I can only cosign this track, with the caveat, “as long as it doesn’t infringe on my ambition.”  And to me that’s just insecure, why should I ask for someone to yield way to me, but I won’t extend to them the same liberty?  Bringing me to my next point, do you guys remember when Jay-Z said, “Is it “Black Girl Lost” or shorty owe you for ice?”  I’m not calling Wale inconsistent, but what I’m saying is a lot of men will tell you they want an ambitious girl, but they don’t even attempt to talk to them.  Successful Black men talk about wanting to be a power couple, but they go to the club and talk to jumpoffs and groupies.
Successful Black man: But I don’t date the women I meet in the club.
Me: Have you ever spent $2,000 on a date?
Successful Black man: Hell no.
Me: But you spend that on the groupies in the club. Hmm…
I’ll believe this track when I see more ambitious girls in relationships.  I’ll believe this right around the time that men stop complaining about women in the club with no money in their pocket, but yet these women are still in the club, in fact, they’ve always been in the club and they are going to still be in the club.  I’ll believe this track when it comes on and every guy who is funneling Patron down a sister’s throat, stops doing so, and they line up single file and walk out of the club.
By the way, I can’t wait for this music video.  That’s going to be the best part.  After all, part of me believes that a lot of these singles that Wale has been dropping have to do with backlash from the Pretty Girls video.  (Had he let me produce it, I would have told him to go extra-Drake and just cast nothing but the baddest “urban” models in the industry, because it was a no-win situation.)  Women will be looking for a piece of themselves in the video.  They will wonder why none of the women look“average” or “normal”.
Wait, I thought…I mean, does being ambitious make you average?
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